Today I'm experiencing the guilt/excitement emotional combo that often comes along with parenting.
I'm departing in a few short hours for a week-long work trip.
As I'm packing up, I'm sad....so sad.
EIV is going to be napping when I leave. I won't touch his locks for 7 days nor hear his ADORABLE voice.
E came up and kissed me goodbye (an hour+ before my departure) because she told me she doesn't want to cry when I actually leave...she's growing up too fast.
H has been clingy (not her normal gentle/cuddly) and crabby...knowing mommy's leaving soon.
I feel bad. I feel bad I'm leaving. I feel guilty for ditching my family.
Then, I recall the numerous times this week I said 'vacation' instead of 'work trip', and mind twinkles with excitement. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm working the full week; actually this is a huge accomplishment of my most recent project.....but I will be alone. It will be QUIET. No feet, elbows or butts will wake me. No whining, no chicken nuggets, no diapers, no siblings fighting, no homework, no reality.....nothing...and nothing will be a taste of heaven.
But am I a bad mom for feeling that way? I know the answer to that....well, at least I think I do.....
I know that I'm not the only mom who feels this way.....why does it have to be?
Why does a 'break' have to come wrapped up with a guilt bow?